Think about the different cliches that relate to outward appearances. Here are a few to get your mind going:
• “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”
• “Looks can be deceiving.”
• “It’s better to look good than to feel good.”
• “It’s a face that only a mother could love.”
• “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
• “Beauty is only skin deep.”
These cliches are good to start the discussion, but they barely scratch the surface. Ope! See what I did there? Yet another saying that is related to appearances.
In Jennifer and my lives with Multiple Sclerosis, we know far too well how much the assumed stature of doing well or falling behind with this chronic disease hinges on outward appearances. Why else would the topics of “invisible illness” and “invisible disability” be fodder for countless constructive and complaining conversations?
As A Couple Takes on MS, this is one of the biggest things Jennifer and I display without uttering a word. I am living with an invisible illness – would you know I have MS just by looking at me? – and Jennifer is living with a visible illness – her using a motorized power wheelchair isn’t something she can easily hide.
With this, Jennifer sometimes wishes she could make her MS invisible so people wouldn’t have questions about her wheelchair, while I sometimes wish my MS was visible so people would more easily understand why I am not able to do as much as I once could.
These are our realities, and they’re why we recently addressed the appearance-related issues in back-to-back episodes of our podcast. Check them out below or where you listen to your podcasts.
These conversations are your opportunity to better understand what life is like for us to live with a chronic progressive disease that is damaging so much on the inside of our bodies but is often judged by what people see on the outside.
Episode 28 – Rethinking ‘But You Look So Good’
Believe it or not, “You look so good” is anything but a compliment for a lot of people who are living with Multiple Sclerosis. In this episode, we debate the pros and cons of what is being said and why it may actually be better than the alternative of people saying things like, “Yeah, you look like you’re living with a chronic disease.”
Episode 29 – Rethinking What Defines ‘Getting Worse’
Join us as we dig into this somewhat sensitive topic in response to comments people have made to us about their assessments of how we “look.”