Goodbye, Squiggy: Remembering David Lander

Such sad news for Squiggy fans and members of the MS community. RIP David Lander, and thanks for teaching us how to fall down laughing.

These were the words Jennifer and I shared on our shared Facebook account on Saturday, December 5, the day we learned that David Lander had passed away.

Several of our friends living with Multiple Sclerosis posted similar messages on their social media to honor the life of the Hollywood actor best known to the world for his role as Squiggy on the late 1970s/early 1980s sitcom Laverne & Shirley.

But to people within the MS community, we knew David Lander better as one of us – a person who shared the realities of getting diagnosed and living with a chronic progressive disease and who inspired us all to move forward with MS.

Yes, I was saddened to hear David Lander had died “… of complications related to multiple sclerosis … ,” but I also paused to silently say “Thank you” to the man whose stories and triumphs set me on the right path when I was diagnosed with MS shortly after he first went public with his diagnosis in 1999.

It was on December 17, 1999, that a medical professional first told me that I most likely had MS. Tears (OK, sobbing, but I didn’t want to sound too dramatic), anxiety, fear and confusion consumed me for the next 24 hours afterward, and then I stopped. It was time to roll up my sleeves and figure out how I was going to stay a step ahead of this relentless illness.

Am I going to die from MS? What is out there to help me? How can I slow this down? What are they doing to control it? Who else is living with it? Does anybody famous have it?

The first name of famous people I found was actress Annette Funicello. She had a great story in her own right, but I couldn’t really relate to the former Mousketeer dancing with Frankie Avalon in Beach Blanket Bingo. So I searched for other famous people. Searching , searching, searching …

“HELLO!”

I simultaneously heard Squiggy shouting as he opened the door to Laverne and Shirley’s apartment the second I read David Lander’s name as a famous person who had MS.

I grew up with Laverne & Shirley, and who (beyond Laverne and Shirley) didn’t love Lenny and Squiggy? AND Squiggy has MS too? For real? And so I started to learn more about David Lander’s MS journey and see what I could learn from him.

Valentine’s Day 2000 marked my formal diagnosis day, and I had done a solid job getting answers to my aforementioned questions before my neurologist confirmed MS was the culprit for the numbness and fatigue I was experiencing.

In the months that followed, I moved forward as best as I could. And just as I thought my MS inspiration well had run dry, “HELLO!” I purchased my copy of David Lander’s autobiography, Fall Down Laughing, that was released in September 2000.

This was the first book I read following my MS diagnosis, and it was everything I needed to help me move forward. His stories were honest, relatable and gave me direction for my own MS journey.

Among the quotes that stood out for me was:   

“Having MS forced me to redefine who I was beyond the film industry, and it also made me face that living with a chronic, progressive disease isn’t anything like it might be in the movies. There’s no script for my mind or body to faithfully follow … and whether or not I like the way things appear to be going, I can’t call the writer of my life story and request that the end be changed.”

This helped me to understand that my life wasn’t going to look as I had envisioned it would be pre-diagnosis. But it also motivated me to do more than redefine me. I was going to do what I could to redefine what life with MS could be for me and for other people living with the disease.

I realized then that I am the writer of my life story, and it’s up to me to direct the narrative of what happens. Sure, some things are out of my control, but I have to take charge of the things I can control because, yes, the show must go on.

For as much as David Lander’s book inspired me for what I wanted to do in my life with MS, it also helped me to see something I wouldn’t do as a person living with MS. I needed to look no further than it’s subtitle: How Squiggy caught Multiple Sclerosis and Didn’t Tell Nobody. Not me, Squiggy.

I’ve made it a mission to live by example and increase MS awareness– show people that they can have a happy and productive life in spite of this disease. Since I first heard the words on December 17, 1999, that I likely had Multiple Sclerosis, I’ve done everything from getting married (big LOVE to Jennifer) to earning my graduate degree, getting recognized for my advocacy work, speaking across the United States and writing a book with Jennifer.

This all is part of me shaping the narrative and falling down laughing as often as I’ve needed to over these past 22 years. Thank you for everything, Squiggy.